They Took About $100K In Loans From Parents. Now They're Asking Who Else Has Done The Same. 'My Parents Get Loans From Me'
- - They Took About $100K In Loans From Parents. Now They're Asking Who Else Has Done The Same. 'My Parents Get Loans From Me'
Adrian VolenikJanuary 17, 2026 at 5:01 PM
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A recent Reddit post in r/MiddleClassFinance has sparked a wide-ranging conversation about family money, privilege, and how middle-class Americans support or are supported by their parents.
The original poster, who is in their 40s with two kids, shared that they had taken two loans from their parents totaling around $100,000. These weren't gifts; they're paying the money back monthly.
Their post ended with a simple question to other middle-class readers: “Have you ever gotten a loan from your parents?”
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Family Help Or Financial Stress?
The post prompted more than a thousand comments, and the responses show just how divided the reality is. For many, financial help from parents isn't just rare, it's unthinkable.
“My parents get loans from me,” one of the top comments read. Another wrote, “My parents don’t have money to loan me. One of them doesn’t even have enough to retire on but is now unable to work. Sucks.”
Others said they're already carrying the weight of their parents' financial future. “The burden will fall on you,” one said. “I supported my mom fully until she needed nursing home and that's where I nearly broke.”
Still, a sizable portion of commenters acknowledged that they had received major help, either in the form of loans, outright gifts, or even free childcare.
“My dad gave us a loan for about $20K three years ago… We paid him back,” one person said. Another explained, “My parents and in-laws combined gave us about $20K for our wedding… which in turn allowed us to get into our house at a critical time in our city's housing market.”
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One thread of the discussion zeroed in on free childcare as a hidden but significant form of financial support. “I have not [gotten a loan],” one commenter said. “I have received copious amount of childcare from them though. Probably over $100K if I were to pay a nanny salary.”
Privilege, Resentment And Unequal Support
The emotional tone shifted when the topic turned to siblings, inequality, and invisible privilege.
“My parents retired with $0 savings,” one person shared. “They own a house with a low rate low mortgage thankfully but any extra expense, like a water heater goes out, I pay for them.”
Others pointed to favoritism within families. “My parents give my little bro $2K-3K a month,” one person said. “I asked for help and they told me best they could do is $500 and that I'm greedy and selfish for asking and that my little brother never asked money.” Another commenter, who is adopted, explained their parents helped their biological children with big-ticket expenses but declined even small help when asked.
“There are 30-40-50 year old people still receiving large sums of money from their parents,” one person put it bluntly. “Where are these parents? Can I be adopted?”
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Planning With Or Without Help
Whether people were frustrated or grateful, one thing was unmistakable: having or not having access to parental help can shape the trajectory of your entire adult life.
Several commenters said that it wasn't just about the money, but about when the help came. Getting a down payment or tuition help early on set many up for long-term stability.
That's where personalized financial advice can come into play. If you’re trying to balance your own retirement goals while helping parents or quietly supporting your grown kids, services like WiserAdvisor can connect you with a fiduciary financial planner. The platform is free to use and pairs people with $100,000 or more in investable assets with vetted advisors who can help create a plan that works for everyone involved.
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