Valerie Bertinelli Says She Feels ‘a Lot of Shame’ for How She ‘Allowed’ Herself to Be Treated in Past 2 Relationships
Valerie Bertinelli Says She Feels ‘a Lot of Shame’ for How She ‘Allowed’ Herself to Be Treated in Past 2 Relationships
Erin ClementsWed, May 13, 2026 at 9:27 PM UTC
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Valerie Bertinelli
Credit: Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty
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Valerie Bertinelli reflected on the pain she experienced in her past two relationships during a podcast appearance
"I feel a lot of shame for allowing myself to be treated the way I was treated,” Bertinelli added.
She was married to Eddie Van Halen and Tom Vitale and recently dated writer Mike Goodnough for 10 months
Valerie Bertinelli is reflecting on the “pain” she’s experienced in relationships.
“I can go back to my very first marriage and I understand the painful parts of it, but none of the pain was ever what I experienced in the last two goes at love that I had,” the celebrity chef said during an appearance on the podcast Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani.
“I feel a lot of shame for allowing myself to be treated the way I was treated,” Bertinelli added. “A lot of shame.”
Bertinelli, 65, was married to her first husband, late Van Halen frontman Eddie Van Halen, from 1981 until 2007. She was wed to financial planner Tom Vitale from 2011 until 2022.
More recently, the Indulge cookbook author dated writer Mike Goodnough for 10 months before sources confirmed the pair’s split in November 2024.
“You didn't allow it because you didn't know what was happening, right?” host Dr. Ramani Durvasula asked.
Bertinelli responded, “I know I'm emotionally intelligent and I know that if I said, ‘Hey, don't speak to me,’ which I've said, ‘Don't speak to me that way.’ But then I just allow it anyway. So at a certain point, it has to be my responsibility to say ‘I've had enough. I'm walking away now.’”
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Dr. Ramani suggested that trying that would result in “even harder pushback.”
“There could be gaslighting, there could be manipulation, there's being treated like you're crazy, there could be escalation,” she told Bertinelli. “At least that's the experience of most people in unhealthy relationships.”
Valerie Bertinelli speaks with Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Credit: Doctor Ramani/Instagram
Bertinelli replied, “And that's where my whole responsibility is to not engage again. And which I finally did.”
Bertinelli addressed the end of her relationship with Goodnough in her PEOPLE cover story in March.
“Here’s the thing about big loud mistakes, I was given the opportunity to learn a really deep life changing lesson and that is what I’m grateful for,” she said.” Oh god, did I learn a lot. And if I ever start dating again, I ain’t talking about it for a long time. I got to see if it works out first."
The One Day at a Time alum added of dating, “I’m not ruling it out. There’s so many great men out there. I love men but I don’t want them to make me crazy and I don’t want to make them crazy.”
on People
Source: “AOL Entertainment”
